Still
by acethebatdog2039
Summary: Alan still remembers the sound of raptors calls late on a chilly night. How they keep him up on some nights. He still remembers the sounds that the Hammond's grandchildren made when they were chased. The sound of Ellie's screams. What he remembers the most is almost losing Billy.


Still

Jurassic Park Fanfic

Acethebatdog2039

Billy Brennan/Alan Grant slash

* * *

Alan still remembers the sound of raptors calls late on a chilly night. How they keep him up on some nights. He still remembers the sounds that the Hammond's grandchildren made when they were chased. The sound of Ellie's screams. What he remembers the most is almost losing Billy.

Alan tries to remember the good times they had before going to Isla Soma with the Kirby's.

But Alan still remembers the words he said to Billy.

'_As far as I'm concerned, you're no better than the people that built this place.'_

Those very words haunted him to this very day almost five years later. Alan sighed running his hand over Billy's head as the younger man slept with his head on Alan's chest.

The older man smiled softy at his former graduate student. It was almost losing Billy that allowed Alan to pull his head out of his ass. Alan sighed, softy running his fingers through the man's hair. He really needed to sleep; he had to teach a few classes tomorrow and he couldn't do that when he, not his students, were falling asleep.

He still remembered the feeling of great regret at the thought that he had lost Billy. How he still felt it till he had boarded the Marine helicopter and found that younger man laying there.

"Alan," a soft mummer broke him from his thoughts. The professor grunted. "Go to sleep. I'm right here." Billy kissed his chest. "Sleep, Alan." Billy yawned falling back to sleep. Alan nodded holding on to the younger man slowly drifting off to sleep himself.

* * *

_The dream started off like they all did. They were walking through the jungle when the hissing started. Alan started to run with the other behind them. They could make it to the building if they tried. They really could! They can make it!_

_But the rush of leathery wings made Alan's heart stop. He turned just in time to watch as Billy was taken from him._

"_Billy!" There was nothing he could do. "Billy!" He screamed his protégé's name over and over again but to no avail._

"Billy!"

Strong hands grabbed him. "Alan!" They gave him a little shake. "Alan! It's okay! It's just a dream! Alan!"

With his heart racing the older man's eyes shot open finding the younger man leaning over him. "Alan, hey, it's alright. It was just a dream. It was just a dream babe." Billy pulled the other man onto his chest. "It's okay Alan. I'm right here."

Alan pressed his nose into the man's Captain America tee shirt breathing in the scent that was Billy. "Why do you still put up with this?"

Billy ran his hand through Alan's hair. "Because I love you Alan, that's why."

"I don't know why."

"Sleep Alan, I got you."

* * *

Billy rolled his shoulder as he walked down the University of Montana hallway. "Hey Doctor Brennan,"

One of his freshmen ran up to him. Billy paused in the hallway. "Hey Doc do you and Doctor Grant still need help at Fort Peck?" The kid was rocking on the balls of his feet.

"Well Leo I can check and email you. Don't think Doctor Grant and I can pay you…"

"That's fine. I was talking to Sara Hillman and she said it was awesome so I wanted to see if I can help this summer."

Billy chuckled. "I'll check and let you know Leo."

"Awesome! Thanks Doc! I got to or I'll be late for class." The kid took off leaving Billy shaking his head in the hallway before he started off for his joined office with Alan.

"Hey Alan," he opened the office door. "Do we still have room for one more freshmen?"

Their office was small and full of boxes and books. Items from their last three digs that they still had to go through. Their desks were facing each other, almost like what you find as in some police departments.

Alan looked up from his tests with his glasses hanging off his nose. "I think, why?" He took his glasses off rubbing the bridge of his nose before putting them back on.

"One of my freshmen, Leo Cooper, was asking for a spot." Billy pulled his backpack off putting it down next to his desk.

Alan nodded, "Is he the really funny one?" Billy reached into his bag pulling out his laptop.

"No Alan, you're thinking of Mark, who graduated almost six months ago." The older doctor rolled his eyes, Billy snorted. "What do you want for lunch?"

* * *

Two weeks later they were packing up the trailer to start for Fort Peck Lake. "Come Alamo! Come on boy!" Billy clapped his hands together trying to get their six month old French Mastiff in the truck. "Come on buddy, let's go for a ride!"

The dog laid his head down sighing.

"Oh come on Alamo, let's go!"

Alan whistled from the truck, "Come Alamosaurus!" The mastiff pulled himself off the drive way walking slowly to the trunk hopping in and taking Billy's seat.

"Hey Alamo that's my seat," The dog huffed moving over just a bit dropping down heavily on the seat. Billy slide in the trunk next to the dog. "Thank you." Billy rested his elbow on the dogs behind as the dog laid his head in Alan's lap. It was going to be a long eight hour drive.

* * *

"Alamo, buddy you need to move." The dog huffed. Billy rolled his eyes opening his bottle of water pouring some of it on the dog.

The dog jumped up shaking his head heading over to Alan. Alamo really was Alan's buddy. The dog dropped down next to Alan's stool causing the older doctor to chuckle.

"Alright guys this is the sight of where we found a pack of Deinonychus last summer. So hopefully we'll be able to find more." Billy called out to their group of five students, a group that held Leo Cooper. "If you have any troubles of any kind just call for help. Doctor Grant, myself, or one of the older students will give you a hand."

Later in the night with Alamo sleeping under the table in the trailer Alan and Billy rested after hours of digging. The dog was already caked in dust looking a much lighter color than his dark brown.

"Hey Alan," Billy muttered softly. His head was resting on Alan's chest letting him feel the grunt. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Ha, very funny smart ass." He patted Alan's chest. Alan smiled in the dark running a hand down Billy's back.

"What's up Billy?"

"Do you ever think about what happened on the island?"

"Not so much anymore," He lied, he thought about it all the time. "Dreams here and there."

"Those aren't dreams, babe." Billy sat up a little. "I don't know about you. But I think about it all the time. Every time I take my shirt off or take a shower I see the scars. Are you telling me you don't ever think about it?"

It was Alan's turn to sit up sighing. "I do. Because some nights when you're so sore that you can hardly move I think about it. If I never had said those words… you never would have…"

"Alan."

"I almost lost you."

"I'm right here Al and I'm not going anywhere." He leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. "I promise."

Even hours later with Billy nestled against his chest Alan could still feel Billy's lips on his.


End file.
